My Crazy Parents

Hi.  Lance here.

I love my parents, I really do.  But sometimes I think Mommy and Daddy may be insane.

Saturday was like many Saturdays.  We went to the dog park and drove around with Mommy and Daddy.  We even got to go to some stores.  That was all fun – always is.

Then we got home and everything got weird.  For some reason which neither Kai nor I can understand, Mommy and Daddy decided to empty their crate of all their stuff and put it all back in!  We (Kai and me) had our crates put in the hall upstairs while they ran around moving things.  Their crate was perfectly fine.  Why move things?  I don’t know.

I haven’t told the bad part yet, have I?  This went on until 3:00 in the morning!!!!!  I mean, really, who needs to stay up extra late to fix their bed?  Kai overheard Mommy talking about the room’s Kung Fu or Kung Pao – maybe there was some thing wrong with their chickens?  I’m not sure why it happened, but the next time they start talking about karate chickens I’m heading to the basement and hiding behind the sofa!

Gotta go (need to stake out my place before Kai gets there),

Lance

Cheese

Yo!  Kai Here!

Haven’t posted in a while, I know.  Been busy.  (OK, maybe not busy, but I’ve been doing a lot of napping, wrestling with Lance, and overall goofing off.)

Here it is November and no snow.  Not sure what Lance is going on about.  I think those big ears of his draw too much heat away from his brain. 

Speaking of ears, Mom and Dad are still on me about mine not standing up.  Isn’t it enough they stand up when I’m sleeping?  Dad came home last night with tape and some hair rollers.  IN PINK!  They’re not serious are they?  They’re going to put pink foam rollers in my ears????  I’m going to get slaughtered at the dog park!!!!

There is a good side to all this.  Someone mentioned that I needed more calcium in my diet.  I’d have been happy to gnaw on a few oyster shells, but instead of that Dad came home with CHEESE!  It rocks.  For a while they were using this Gouda stuff from the fridge, but then they got some new Cheddar.  Way, way, way lots better.  Heck, I might give up cruising the floor for the odd piece of mis-placed cat food for it.

I gotta go.  The cat’s gonna jump over the gate into this part of the room in a couple of seconds and he needs a good sniff!

Later,

Kai

BTW, my birthday’s May 3^rd.  5 year old cheddar (or older) is always appreciated.  (My half birthday’s in a couple of weeks…)

Why Can't People be More Like Dogs?

Hi.  Lance here.

I’m not usually one to push my opinions on other dogs (or people for that matter), but in this case I’m going to have to take a stand.  When I was at Rocking Horse Walk Last week, I heard about this dog who was pepper sprayed by a human.  I’m going to come out firmly against pepper spraying dogs.

I’m getting this third paw, but as I understand things…

A human was walking with her dog in a park in Guelph.  Dog was off‑leash.  Another human came up and lowered his hand to meet the dog.  The dog walked up to meet the person and when the dog got close, they pepper sprayed the dog!  Human claimed, “The dog was off leash.”  The dog had ulcerated corneas from the spray and could have lost their sight had things been a bit worse.  Maybe the person as afraid of dogs, maybe she or he got scared at the last minute, but I don’t think either case supports attacking the dog.  I don’t like to believe this about people, but this really smells like a case of a mean person looking to hurt dogs as a way to make themselves feel better.

I’d love to tell my dog friends that they need to be more careful and they need to clearly show the humans when they want to be met and when they don’t and know this would solve the problem. It seems, this time, it wouldn’t matter.  The person in question sprayed the dog with no provocation.  I like people, I really do.  They’re fun.  They throw stuff (balls, Frisbees, sticks…).  They take you places.  They scratch you behind the ears…  It really upsets me to think that someone would pretend to want to meet me just so they can be cruel. 

Why can’t people be more like dogs?  If a dog doesn’t want to meet me; she or he tells me and I don’t bother them.  If a dog is going to bite or attack, they show it.  They don’t lie in wait to hurt you when you’re not expecting it. 

I’m not going to start not meeting people and I’m not going to start being one of those dog’s who gets scared all the time, but I am going to be very careful when I’m off leash, especially when the area isn’t an official dog park.

Bye for now,

Lance

Italian Vampire Lessons

Yo!  Kai Here,

        First of all, I want to set the record straight.  I am not now, nor have I ever been, a vampire.  That’s just gross.  Doesn’t anyone see the connection between vampires and ticks?  Yuck.  Lance really needs to do something about that overactive imagination.  Next thing he’ll get crazy over that black cat.  (I think Mom and Dad call him Dale, all I know is that he sure whines a lot when you lick him.)

        OK, now that we’ve settled that, on to more interesting things.  I’m still liking the fall thing.   Not as much as Lance, I think.  He’s got a real fetish about leaves.  They blow and scatter around.  Big deal.  You can eat them, which is good.

        Levels class is still fun, but it's hard to work with all the distractions.  Today, they were pretending to teach me to hit a target on the floor with my paw.  Sue decided she would try to trick me into it by putting a bunch of food under this blue thing.  Nope, not fooling this puppy with something like that.  That’s doggie Zen.  I can do it with my eyes closed.  Now Mom’s doing this deal where she’s tickling my foot and when I move it she clicks and treats.  It’s easy, and I get snacks.  Kewl. 

We did some level 2 recall testing today on Puppy Walk.  It was fun.  Dad ran away and then I got to chase him.  That part’s easy, but this Loose Leash Walking thing…

        My ears still aren’t doing what they want them do.  (Seem OK to me.)  I’ve got Velcro on my head like some sort of 25^th century space dog.  Jeez!  It’s OK though.  It’s not like it hurts and it gives them something to do – could be worse, could be my tail.

Chow,  (Mom says I need to work on my Italian.)

Kai

Whew! No vampires here!

Hi.  It’s Lance,

Have I told you how much I love fall?  All the leaves blowing around, all the wind, all the rain and ALL the leaves?  I’ve always loved leaves, especially when they blow.  They are so much fun to chase and catch.  When I was little, Mommy and Daddy called me Lancelot, Leaf Killer because I was so good at catching them.  I try to show Kai how to do it, but he is still not as good as I am.

I was too little last year to hear about Samhain, Halloween, or Dia de los Muertos, but this year it’s all over the television.  The whole thing sounds kind of scary.  Ghosts.  Goblins.  Werewolves.   Little Devils.  Brrrrrrr.  Then, I found out about vampires.  Vampires?  These things that latch onto your neck, bite you and suck your blood?  That’s too creepy.  Mommy and Daddy watch movies about things like that on TV all the time, but I always go into the other room ‘cause it’s scary. 

I started thinking about vampires a lot.  Suppose they’re everywhere and we don’t know it?  Suppose they’re always trying to bite your neck?  Suppose…  Kai!  Oh my God.  Kai’s a vampire!  He’s always trying to bite me, he’s sleeps a *LOT* during the day.  And then I realised the kicker.  He won’t cross running water.  I could hardly sleep in my crate next to him.  Suppose he crept out at night and attacked Mommy and Daddy?!?!  How could I protect them?  It was keeping me up at night.  What was a poor puppy to do?

However, last weekend I found out everything was OK.  We were playing in the park.  OK, even if my brother is a vampire; I still love him and want to play.  Anyway, we were running in the park and he crossed the stream that goes through it.  Proof he wasn’t blood‑sucking fiend!!  That was a huge load off my mind. 

My little brother.  Cute, fun, a great chew toy, and definitely *not* a vampire.

Have a great holiday, no matter how you celebrate,

Lance

Ears and Mud

 

Yo,

            Kai here.

            OK, I officially have a new favourite season.  Fall!  It’s been raining every day for, like a week now, and there’s mud everywhere.  It’s a blast.  You wouldn’t believe the places I’ve gotten muddy – I didn’t think you could get it some of those places.  So we track in a little mud.  Relax Mom.  It dries and sweeps up just fine. 

            Speaking about relaxing,   What the big deal is about my ears!?!?!?!?  Suddenly every 20 minutes someone’s pawing my ears and not in a good way.  The thing is that I can put my ears up, I just don’t choose to.  It’s just not that important.  If you keep them down, no one gets them when you visit the cat.

            Now, Mom and Dad have started on this weirdo ritual of glue, and Velcro, and staring at my ears, and telling Lance to calm down.  If this keeps up I may have to actually raise the stoopid things just to get everyone off my case. 

Kai

p.s.       I lost a tooth last week.  Mom and Dad are keeping it.  I wanted to eat it.

Oops

Kai and I got in trouble today…  A lot of trouble…

Mommy was pretty patient, at first.

We found a sock.  It was in the laundry basket.  I told Kai not to take it, but then it was out and it was really fun to play with.  Mommy decided that, maybe we should be outside then. 

It was a really nice day, kinda sunny, but still cool in the shade, so Kai and I started running in the yard.  I had him going really well.  You know, running up and barking, then jumping away.  I was running away one time and didn’t make the turn – just like I didn’t at my birthday party.  Oops, I really didn’t mean to break another hurricane lamp.  We decided we might ought to play over near the pool.  Then I noticed that under the BBQ grill smelled really good.  One thing led to another, and then we had one of the grill brushes out and were playing chase with it and then found some really fun dogs to bark at.  Mommy decided we should go inside.

While I was checking out the cat – he’s my buddy, I always say hi to him in the morning, Kai found a spatula in the dishwasher.  We got in trouble for that, too. 

It’s a good thing Mommy loves us so much, ‘cause we were really bad today.  It’s like John and Sue say, sometimes puppies need help to make good decisions.  Tomorrow, we’ll make better decisions; after all, it all starts fresh in the morning.

Bye for now,

Lance